You just got the news. Maybe a project got scrapped. Maybe there’s talk of reorgs. Maybe someone made a comment that landed sideways.
And just like that, your mind races. What does this mean for me? Am I in trouble? Did I mess up? Do they think I’m not capable?
Spiraling is human. But it doesn’t have to drive your decisions—or your sense of self. When the ground feels shaky, there are ways to steady yourself.
Here are six grounding questions to help you slow the spiral and stay anchored in agency.
1. What are the facts?
This is the first question I encourage professionals to ask. Not the assumptions. Not the stories. Just the facts.
Our brains are wired to make meaning fast. But often, what we feel is happening and what’s actually happening can be two different things.
Start here: What do I actually know to be true right now?
Write it down if you need to. The act of naming facts helps separate reality from runaway thought.
Then ask: Where is there still confusion—and how can I seek clarity without spiraling further?
2. Am I adding meaning where there is none?
Let’s say your boss sent a vague message: “Let’s connect later.”
You might instantly think: I’m in trouble. I did something wrong. I’m going to get fired.
That’s not data, thats a story. And that story is based on fear, not fact.
A better approach is to pause and ask yourself: Is this meaningful, or am I adding meaning to it?
The goal of this is not to deny emotion, but instead, to notice where your brain is filling in gaps that don’t need to be filled (yet).
3. What is in my control right now?
This question can be a lifeline.
In moments of uncertainty, we often grasp for control in places we don’t actually have it—what others think, what decisions are being made behind closed doors, what might happen two weeks from now.
Instead, shift your focus to where your power is.
Maybe it’s preparing thoughtful questions for a 1:1.
Maybe it’s clarifying your workload for the week.
Maybe it’s simply choosing to take a walk before reacting.
Personal agency often starts with small steps. And small steps add up.
4. What isn’t changing?
When things feel like they’re shifting beneath you, this question is a powerful way to regain your footing.
Yes, something unexpected may have happened. But much of your foundation likely remains in place. Your skillset. Your values. Your relationships. Your track record. Your ability to navigate challenges.
Make a quick list: What in my role, team, life, or self is still steady right now?
When things feel unstable, we still have elements of stability to help ground ourselves.
5. How am I caring for myself in this moment?
When we feel unsafe, either emotionally or psychologically, our nervous systems react. It’s natural.
But it also means we need to actively choose grounding over gripping.
That might look like deep breathing. A short walk. A phone call with someone who helps you feel like yourself again.
Or maybe it’s creating a few minutes of quiet space before you decide what to do next.
This is not to be confused as an avoidance tactic. Instead, it is meant to be a means of giving yourself enough steadiness to face the challenge well.
6. If I were advising someone else in this exact situation, what would I say?
Sometimes the spiral gets so loud, it’s hard to hear your own wisdom. That’s when it helps to externalize it.
Think of someone you respect. Imagine they came to you with the exact same situation. What would you say to them?
Chances are, you’d be more gracious. More grounded. More clear.
Use that same care and clarity with yourself.
Because even in the depths of a spiral, the version of you that can offer solid advice to others? That version of you is still here. Even now. And you Get to Choose What Happens Next
You may not get to choose what news you receive at work. But you do get to choose how you respond to it.
Not in a “just stay positive” kind of way, but in a real, grounded, intentional way. A way that honors your humanity and protects your energy.
When the spiral starts, go back to the basics:
What’s true?
What’s story?
What’s in my control?
How can I care for myself?
If you’re in a season where spiraling feels constant and clarity feels out of reach, you don’t have to go it alone. Coaching can help. Let’s talk.